Some Geek Humor for the Day and Road Rage

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I saw this one on a comment and I loved it.

“She is one match co-processor shy of a 486”

I was in stitches for a good minute about that one. People around the office enjoyed and we have a new slang at work.

In other geek humor I found this link via Digg about HTTP Error Messages and Relating them to Women.

http://www.seoegghead.com/blog/seo/403-forbidden-a-geeks-guide-to-rejection-p148.html

header(“HTTP/1.0 402 Payment Required“);
“I’m from Craigslist.”

That was a good one. Having seen some interesting ones from the world of CL. My other favorite one was

header(“HTTP/1.0 306 (Unused)“);
“I’m a virgin.”

Now I had a good laugh on this matter. So turned out to be a rather funny morning today. I got a Skype Voicemail this morning from a women in China saying how we should get married. She wants to practice her english and get married. Not being a master of my own native tongue and thinking getting married. I decided she was not the woman for me and had a chuckle.

But this being a hump day people are at an all time odd level today. My bus was way early and I saw it driving over the bridge as I pulled up so I had to deal with traffic today.

I really have no idea why people in Seattle are the dumbest drivers on the planet. I was driving down the freeway. 4 lanes going I-5 North. You have the carpoolers in their lane. I should really get a doll or something to go in my passenger seat. But anyways you have the far left lane which is the moron lane. You get these idiots who cannot drive worth a shit afraid of all the other traffic around them. They are usually people going a long distance who want to drive slow and afraid to merge.

The Left Middle Lane is usually the less stupid people who actually know how to drive and are smart enough to stay out of the mama and papa lane. But because of the far left lane people needing to drive slow getting to an exit they should have thought about earlier this lane also slows down and causes me to be in the car yelling “What the FUCK!?”.

The Right Middle lane is usually reserved for those who are stuck there because the Middle Left Lane is full of the people merging from the Idiot Left Lane and the Middle Left Lane tends to get rather full so everyone in the Middle Right Lane managed to get out of the merging lane but to many cars prevent them from getting any further left. You have a brave soul on occasion who tries to get over and the stops and slows everyone else down because the other lane was hardly moving either causing a slowdown because this person wants to feel like they have Big Balls.

Thank you I’m To Fucking Stupid to be Content with Where I am I need to be in the farther left lane so I can fuck everyone else up. Today the brave soul was this brain child in a White Van from Oregon. He couldn’t decide what lane was good enough for him so he stopped traffic from his dealings on the freeway 4 times.

I don’t know much about Oregon drivers. But I have driven to Portland and Portland is like a maze of roads. I am sure they would be the only city with a Dead End One Way Street. Seattle is bad we can’t even make a straight road. But Oregon things don’t make any sense. It’s like the person who designed all the roads made spaghatti one night and decided that would be a perfect road system. Seattle just likes to build stuff so close to the water it floods. We got smarter and built a city on top of that city and charge toursists a great deal of money to go under the city to see some rotted wood. If it gets the economy moving great. But give me a fucking break.

So back to the road. We have the right lane on the freeway. You drive in this lane if you have a lot of time on your hands. Because people in general are afraid to merge. If I am in this lane I leave a good 4 car lengths in front of me. Because this seems to be the convert level for these idiots. I would rather just give it to them so that they can just get on the freeway and not try and pull something and be a hero to the rest of the merging people that they got through. Have some respect and let people merge.

But if you are in this lane people are trying to merge at you from both sides at the same time frequently. Which never is a good thing. Merge is this idea or a theory perhaps in Washington that nobody seems to want anyone to do. People have this pride issue of letting someone cut in line. I could honestly give a fuck we are all there for a mutual goal to get somewhere.
But don’t ever drive a good deal of distance because the right lane will become an exit only lane and you will be forced to exit if you cannot merge which is probably why you are in this lane to begin with. Grow some balls and learn how to fucking drive.

The only decent driving experience you can have in Seattle. Is when you drive in the late evening when everyone is home doing what people do at home. I will talk about parking and all that joy in a future post. Seattle is the only city I know that taxes themselves to build a monorail. Decideds to cancel the project. Tax themseleves again to pay for the advertising of the monorail they decided not to build. Then a private company takes over the monorail project but still tax everyone for the monorail.

I love this town but give me a fucking break. You can’t drink in a strip club or be within 4 or 6 feet of a stripper. That came into pass when we got a female governor. I voted for her because she was a democrat. I would have much rather had a libertarian. I miss Gary Locke he was a cool Asian dude in my book. Not that I could enjoy a stripper when he was in power but at least he was sane.

Happy Hump Day.

Cheers!

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