Why Yelp Sucks

24
My days can usually be found on the internet reading up on many things. My girlfriend turned me onto this site called Yelp. You can find reviews for everything and anything.  If you haven’t heard of this site either you are not missing much. So let’s say it’s Dinner time and I want a burger. So I go to Yelp.com and run a search for burger and I get this place.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/hamburger-harrys-seattle

The first review is from someone named Terrell.

“If you like ground beef, grease and sports on big screen televisions, this is your place!”

The rest of the review is about how he was not happy with his burger because he doesn’t like that type of thing so he gives the place 2 out of 5 stars. Now on Yelp you can rate a review in 3 ways. “Useful, Funny or Cool” Where is the button that this is a bad review if you don’t like this type of food why the hell are you reviewing it to begin with. Why did you even go in there if it’s not your style. I wish I could vote the review off the page and have it no longer count.

There are other sites like digg.com where you can review news articles and comments. You can either digg it up or mark it down. If it’s dugg down enough it disappears and is gone. You can do this with peoples comments so you don’t have to read idiocy if you don’t want to. Yelp doesn’t have this feature so even people who write “This place sucks!” and that is all and give it 1 star you can’t do anything but say if the review is “Useful, Funny or Cool”

What this makes me think about is that when I go check a place out and it has 3 stars that I need to parse through every review to see why the person is reviewing it and what their other reviews are to see even if I want to trust them. Well fuck that shit I don’t have time I just want to know where a good burger is that isn’t being judged my some vegetarian who hates the place because they don’t have their soy full of shit burgers with their private agenda. You are eating at a burger joint. Cow was murdered for the purpose of being grilled and put inbetween bread with cheese on top of it. That is the whole damn point. But you are marking a place down for doing so.

I really don’t get it. I can see where such a thing would be a good place to get seen and get new customers but I just don’t agree with the system on yelp and it could be improved in so many ways. I bring up this argument to most people and they are just like “Meh whatever you say Tristan” There are other review sites out there but I have yet to put my finger on why Yelp took off. People thought I was crazy for thinking myspace was a big steaming pile of shit. I usually try to check out the review on Yelp and then Urbanspoon, Yellowpages and then Citysearch that wastes a great deal of time where I would rather just go to the place and try it myself. But I have a girlfriend who doesn’t follow that same idea.

I really like it when a Vegetarian or a Vegan reviews a Steakhouse. Gives it a 1 star for not having anything other then a side salad. I really hope they shutup real soon. You don’t see me going to a vegetarian restaurant and giving it a 1 star review for not having a freshly slaughtered piece of flesh for me to consume.

Some days I would really kill to have this T-Shirt.

24 Comments

  1. Junniper
    // Reply

    Nice shirt.

    I’ve never had toucan, is it any good? Makin’ hot wings from toucans sounds like a bang-up business idea.

  2. Junniper
    // Reply

    Nice shirt.

    I’ve never had toucan, is it any good? Makin’ hot wings from toucans sounds like a bang-up business idea.

  3. Junniper
    // Reply

    Nice shirt.

    I’ve never had toucan, is it any good? Makin’ hot wings from toucans sounds like a bang-up business idea.

  4. Junniper
    // Reply

    Nice shirt.

    I’ve never had toucan, is it any good? Makin’ hot wings from toucans sounds like a bang-up business idea.

  5. Junniper
    // Reply

    Nice shirt.

    I’ve never had toucan, is it any good? Makin’ hot wings from toucans sounds like a bang-up business idea.


  6. // Reply

    Good post on pinning down one of the real shortcomings of Yelp. I am launching my own review site soon and have been doing research on the competition. There are a lot of posts about people hating Yelp for one reason or another. Most of them complain about racist comments, post deletions, etc. But it all boils down to what you pointed out: useless reviews by stupid people or jerks. Allowing users to vote for or against reviews is an idea I have been thinking about. Amazon also does this with the “Was this review useful?” thing. Anyway, if you have any other ideas about what you would change I would love to hear them!

    Mark


  7. // Reply

    Good post on pinning down one of the real shortcomings of Yelp. I am launching my own review site soon and have been doing research on the competition. There are a lot of posts about people hating Yelp for one reason or another. Most of them complain about racist comments, post deletions, etc. But it all boils down to what you pointed out: useless reviews by stupid people or jerks. Allowing users to vote for or against reviews is an idea I have been thinking about. Amazon also does this with the “Was this review useful?” thing. Anyway, if you have any other ideas about what you would change I would love to hear them!

    Mark


  8. // Reply

    I agree with you! Moreover, yelp doesn’t give businesses just over bad reviews. The business could’ve been having an off day. I mean wouldn’t it be great for businesses to read posts from customers who had a bad experience and allow the business to reply back on the same thread?
    We asked ourselves this same question and we’re building a customer service application that should solve this problem.


  9. // Reply

    I agree with you! Moreover, yelp doesn’t give businesses just over bad reviews. The business could’ve been having an off day. I mean wouldn’t it be great for businesses to read posts from customers who had a bad experience and allow the business to reply back on the same thread?
    We asked ourselves this same question and we’re building a customer service application that should solve this problem.


  10. // Reply

    I agree with you! Moreover, yelp doesn’t give businesses just over bad reviews. The business could’ve been having an off day. I mean wouldn’t it be great for businesses to read posts from customers who had a bad experience and allow the business to reply back on the same thread?
    We asked ourselves this same question and we’re building a customer service application that should solve this problem.

  11. verusbellus
    // Reply

    I have to agree! Yelp is not what it seems. So many variable, and such a young crowd that thinks they are cute? Get a life, and learn how to figure life out. Watch out, Yelp will review you.

  12. verusbellus
    // Reply

    I have to agree! Yelp is not what it seems. So many variable, and such a young crowd that thinks they are cute? Get a life, and learn how to figure life out. Watch out, Yelp will review you.


  13. // Reply

    How about everyone has to use their real name?
    Yelp publishes so much anonymous bullshit, competitor’s backstabbing, and business owner’s flummery that it’s completely useless.

    It’s just an attempt to blackmail and shakedown business owners.
    I didn’t go into business over 25 year ago to have my good name held for random by anonymous internet dipshits.
    They can all kiss my ass.
    I would rather put a fork in my eye than give Yelp a penny of my hard-earned money.
    May they burn in Hell.

    Disgruntled Business owner,

    Lee


  14. // Reply

    How about everyone has to use their real name?
    Yelp publishes so much anonymous bullshit, competitor’s backstabbing, and business owner’s flummery that it’s completely useless.

    It’s just an attempt to blackmail and shakedown business owners.
    I didn’t go into business over 25 year ago to have my good name held for random by anonymous internet dipshits.
    They can all kiss my ass.
    I would rather put a fork in my eye than give Yelp a penny of my hard-earned money.
    May they burn in Hell.

    Disgruntled Business owner,

    Lee


  15. // Reply

    How about everyone has to use their real name?
    Yelp publishes so much anonymous bullshit, competitor’s backstabbing, and business owner’s flummery that it’s completely useless.

    It’s just an attempt to blackmail and shakedown business owners.
    I didn’t go into business over 25 year ago to have my good name held for random by anonymous internet dipshits.
    They can all kiss my ass.
    I would rather put a fork in my eye than give Yelp a penny of my hard-earned money.
    May they burn in Hell.

    Disgruntled Business owner,

    Lee


  16. // Reply

    How about everyone has to use their real name?
    Yelp publishes so much anonymous bullshit, competitor’s backstabbing, and business owner’s flummery that it’s completely useless.

    It’s just an attempt to blackmail and shakedown business owners.
    I didn’t go into business over 25 year ago to have my good name held for random by anonymous internet dipshits.
    They can all kiss my ass.
    I would rather put a fork in my eye than give Yelp a penny of my hard-earned money.
    May they burn in Hell.

    Disgruntled Business owner,

    Lee


  17. // Reply

    How about everyone has to use their real name?
    Yelp publishes so much anonymous bullshit, competitor’s backstabbing, and business owner’s flummery that it’s completely useless.

    It’s just an attempt to blackmail and shakedown business owners.
    I didn’t go into business over 25 year ago to have my good name held for random by anonymous internet dipshits.
    They can all kiss my ass.
    I would rather put a fork in my eye than give Yelp a penny of my hard-earned money.
    May they burn in Hell.

    Disgruntled Business owner,

    Lee

  18. drbone
    // Reply

    I think yelp sucks too. I don’t like their internal search or how they don’t do a better job of vetting reviews. They’re too aggressive in trying to build up their content.

    I personally think it’s a better idea to just stick with citysearch and there are a lot of new sites like fairplayreviews.com

  19. drbone
    // Reply

    I think yelp sucks too. I don’t like their internal search or how they don’t do a better job of vetting reviews. They’re too aggressive in trying to build up their content.

    I personally think it’s a better idea to just stick with citysearch and there are a lot of new sites like fairplayreviews.com

  20. drbone
    // Reply

    I think yelp sucks too. I don’t like their internal search or how they don’t do a better job of vetting reviews. They’re too aggressive in trying to build up their content.

    I personally think it’s a better idea to just stick with citysearch and there are a lot of new sites like fairplayreviews.com

  21. janetreererer
    // Reply

    Yelp is a complete racket! I have had eight 5 star reviews removed but one disgruntled associate loses her job and spend the next two months becoming an elite yelper just so she can post a negative review about my business. And, it will never be removed. Now they call weekly to get me to advertise on their site. They want me to pay them money to facilitate a blank bitching board for any peon to write any biased review about my business without any verification or recourse? Oh Yes, now businesses can respond but that doesn't affect the star rating which is what clients see when they do a search. I am astonished that there is no legal recourse. I am so looking forward to Yelp going down. They are greedy bastards and deserve to be sued into oblivion.

  22. janetreererer
    // Reply

    Yelp is a complete racket! I have had eight 5 star reviews removed but one disgruntled associate loses her job and spend the next two months becoming an elite yelper just so she can post a negative review about my business. And, it will never be removed. Now they call weekly to get me to advertise on their site. They want me to pay them money to facilitate a blank bitching board for any peon to write any biased review about my business without any verification or recourse? Oh Yes, now businesses can respond but that doesn't affect the star rating which is what clients see when they do a search. I am astonished that there is no legal recourse. I am so looking forward to Yelp going down. They are greedy bastards and deserve to be sued into oblivion.


  23. // Reply

    It's not just Yelp! This is why i hate most online review sites… The reviews are biased, dumb or just plain retarded. I do like urbanspoon the best for restaurants. nice post. thanks for sharing your rant.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *