So my friend Nick was getting married at the nice age of 20 to a girl named Kirsten. And they just happened to get married the weekend of my birthday in Idaho. My friend Ollie was going and needed someone to ride with him so I was like it’s my birthday in a strange place, Why Not Go?
So this whole idea was that we needed to haul some stuff and neither of us wanted to drive our cars at the time. Ollie has a 93′ Honda and I had a shitty 93′ Plymouth Acclaim at the time with the paint chipping off and the only cool thing about that car was I had driven it to the ground and it had Satellite Radio. But I didn’t trust it so Nick said we could drive his truck and he could haul more. The only problem was that it was a manual. Ollie had never driven a manual and my only experience with a manual was rather limited and that limited time was filled with getting yelled at for doing it wrong.
My first real experience with a manual was in a Geo Metro in a road in the middle of nowhere with my Mom and she put it in “1st” and after many, many attempts at starting we discovered it was in 3rd and I was to upset from being yelled at to drive it again. My next experience was my Stepdad’s old 80’s Dodge Astrovan that was huge and had reverse on the side of the driver and no mapping of the gears. He started me off at the bottom of a huge hill and trying to get up this hill with no experience was a rather pain in the ass I kept killing the engine. Then a school bus got behind me and the stress level at 16 was just to much to take and I somehow got to the top of the hill and said I would never do that again.
So anyways Ollie went out and got some practice and he did all the driving from Seattle, WA to Boise, WA and we drove down to Portland, OR and then headed East. We made a pit stop before we really got on the road and decided to pick up some snacks. Stopped and got some Oreo’s we ran into a girl I used to work with and her friend was really into Ollie it was rather funny being that she was 16. I always ponder why young girls are always the cute ones but they never are legal. But it seemed the rest of our purchase was energy drinks. When we got outside of Portland we stopped for gas and got some more energy drinks. You can never have to many of those I suppose. (Those and suppose what a clever little rhyme) But all and all that was a fun trip I remember we stopped on top of a mountain and took a piss on the side of the road which led to many cars honking at us.
We didn’t get to our final destination until 3:30am and we had to sleep in this trailer RV thing and being 6’4” there is not a lot of room for me to sleep anywhere in a trailer and the back of the truck we had driven was totally full of useless crap. But anyways I digress. We get a wake up call at 9am after little sleep saying the Best Man had to cancel so me and Ollie basically had to fill in. Luckily I had a suit and tie but I got moved from dude observing the wedding to “Dude in Charge of Music” So I was put in charge of a boombox to play “I’d Do Anything” as everyone walked down the aisle. With everyone staring at me like “What the Fuck is this Shit your Playing at a Wedding” also I was in the presence of a large amount of Mormons and people that are that religious they can’t have caffeine or watch a rated R movie tend to freak me out. But I digress yet again. So the wedding happened and then the reception and I was hitting on this girl name Rachel. I had to ride with her and she was cute and anyways. (More about her Later…) So after we had cake and grape juice. (Fucking Mormon’s) we were trying to figure out a place to go drinking. With Boise just a golf swing away we drove over there. Me, Ollie, Two Other Dudes so here is how it worked we are all in are tuxes and suits and we found this bar and it wasn’t a very exciting place. But I had my first drink of a Long Island Ice Tea I believe it was. They had a this mixture and Ollie said that was a shitty way to make it. So I had that and then we played some pool and then I had a shot of GoldSchlager. It was Cinnamon and had gold flakes in the drink I must say that was warm and amazing. So this was a rather sad bar in a cheesy hotel. We watched one of the other dudes from the wedding play some pool and then we decided to go find someplace a bit more downtown. So this is where I have my first party foul. I am walking across the parking lot and I trip on the curb and fall on my face. I am not sure if it as because of the drinking or if it was just something that everyone does on occasion which prompted me to stand up dust myself off and continue on to the car.
So we all pile into this little red Honda. Being 6’3” Honda’s are never really my friend. They always seem to be designed for people that are under 6′ but they always seem like fun rides. But I digress. We find a parking spot on what appears to be a hot strip in downtown Boise, ID. So we start walking down the street looking for any signs of “cool” we come across a sports bar which appears to be centered around golf. So I walk up and get out my ID for the door keeper of the dungeon and he looks down and asks me what the date is. I am like May 21st and he is like how old are you. I replied with your a bouncer at a bar and you can’t figure out how old I am? Isn’t that the main function of your job? He got pissed off and I let me in after my friend let him know the Math.
I may be a pain in the ass to a lot of people. But come on if your soul purpose is to figure out age and just remove people. Some 3rd Grade math skills should be a requirement before you get the job. But I digress again.
So I get in there and walk up to the bar which prompted a guy to ask us “Funeral, Prom or Wedding?” Ollie prompted back.
“Do we appear sad?”
“Don’t you think we would be a bit old for the prom?”
“Yeah I see your point. Well Holy Shit, Who got Married?”
Now this guy was a bit drunk and was having a bit of a hard time connecting the dots. So I thought it best to end it right here. But someone mentioned it was my birthday and that prompted my first “Cherry Bomb” a Cherry Bomb is a bit of a modern cocktail where you take a shot of Crown Royal and a Glass of Red Bull drop the shot into the Red Bull and suck it down as fast as you can which is about as fast you say “Oh Shit” when you realize what the effect of sucking down red bull at an insane pace.
Which prompted another free drink of a Black Opal. Which I have no idea what is in this drink and at this 7am I am a bit to lazy to look it up. But it was crazy del.icio.us which you can find at the right hand side of the page. But I digress yet again.
So I started my drinking again and was getting rather drunk at a rather fast pace. Which at this point is all that I can recall from people telling me when we talk about this night this present day. So pardon the adlib of what I recall and what was told that I created and accomplished.
So drink turned into a shot which turned into another drink. Which prompted me to want to call everyone in my phone book and make a fool of myself. The only ones I can recall were Preston and I was doing something crazy on the phone and I hear this frequently.
“Tristan You were so drunk on your birthday when you called me I asked to speak to Ollie and you were like “What’s an Ollie?”
That is the only one that is really worth talking about. Another drunk embarrassment was when I was sitting at a table and some girl came over to me and said “It’s my 21st birthday also” I grabbed her arm sat her in the chair and said “AWESOME! AWESOME! THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME!” which then prompted her boyfriend to get angry at me forcing Ollie to “take care of it”
So that is pretty much all I can recall. I do recall trying to go the bathroom and having the sensation of very little control over my body. Not being able to correctly will my legs to walk forward. I see why it’s easier to get girls naked when you add the booze. So yeah we shall input a swirly blur alert right at this moment.
The Next Morning
I find myself waking up on the floor of an apartment still in my suit and tie and shoes. No puke and I found myself waking up with no headache or discomfort more of “Where the hell am I” So I stand up and look and see the other two dudes. They were over in the corner of this apartment next to each other so I start my general investigation and open up one door and see some girly room with bunk beds. I find a bathroom so I take care of that issue. Then I open up the other door and find Ollie in bed with this girl I had never seen before and could live with never seeing again unless it was to poke fun at Ollie. But I was like “Ollie wake up” He wakes up and gets freaked out a bit to what he found himself in bed next to.
Now for some reason this bothered me. How come I didn’t wake up next to the girl that I would regret later? It was my birthday after all. But I guess all things happen for the best. So he gets out of bed and I see a little more of this “couple” then I would really care to see. So she gets up and cooks us breakfast. Some odd Rice creation. So after that we load up the truck and go over to the place where the couple got hitched meet them at a McDonalds have a meal and then we begin the journey from Idaho through Oregon and up back to Washington.
We didn’t really say much to each other on the drive home. Because Ollie was hung over and when we got back into town it just seemed like it was nice to be home and we wanted to not relive the past few days.
Makes for a good drinking story though.