Can I Pick You Up Tonight?

Thought I would post some quotes I have collected over the years. Not much of a pickup line guy unless it’s just to make a girl laugh. In no particular order.

  1. I wish i was your problem set because then I’d be really hard and you would be doing me on the desk
  2. Has anyone ever told you your beautiful?
    Well they lied, words can’t describe your beauty
  3. Too bad your not DNA helicase cause I’d let you unzip my genes.
  4. Are u from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see!
  5. Baby you turn my software into hardware.
  6. Do you have a calcium deficiency? Wanna bone?
  7. How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?
  8. Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice, how’s it going.
  9. You’re gonna put me in the hospital one day. Because you’re breath taking.
  10. Hey, if I were (cosX)^2 and you were (sinX)^2, together we’d be ONE.
  11. If i had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents

This is a list form the ones I have yet to try. Though I really have yet to use a pickup line to pickup a girl at all. Just use them as a way to poke fun at the people that do use them and just get the rep as that funny guy. But anyways. Hope everyone had a great holiday. New Years is coming up and I need some coffee and some rest. Tomorrow is Friday and Life is good.

The holiday has been slow in the blogging world but anyways though I would put an update for anyone out there.

Happy Holidays!

Well it’s 2006. I am on my 23rd Holiday Season. Now that I have a career and a life I can actually afford to get everyone a decent holiday gift. But 4 people I had no idea what to get so when I was picking up my Uncle’s Gift I went for some gift cards. Such a cop out.

But last year I did a Christmas Podcast and I need to get back to that. But it’s been so crazy with my commute and working. My free time I spend seeing friends and catching up. But as we approach the end of year and the end of season. I wanted to wish you Happy Holidays!

It’s been an interesting year. Lots of changes. Some Good, Some Bad. But everything happens for a reason and I just wish everyone the best in this year and next year lets hope these democrats do something that makes some sense next year.

Normally not the hugging type but many hugs to you.

Post #771 – How to Touch a Woman in Her Pants

Today in other news a woman in Japan was stung by a scorpion in a pair of pants she was trying on that were imported from China. The store said they will make sure it never happens again. Scorpion unavailable for comment but his publicist said “Get Over Here!” Though the rumor is that he was upset he didn’t get to perform his fatality finishing move.

Unless you played Mortal Kombat that probably made no sense to you. But it’s Wednesday. Hump Day. Holidays Coming up. I was driving home last night and saw Santa on top of a fire truck attacking kids with mind flavored canes. I dressed up and was Santa at a Holiday party once. Kids either love or hate you but the ones that love you want to talk to you and tell you what they want under the tree. I was always told the people in the mall and so forth were helpers.

Well I never got to see Mr. S. and work out any details of being a helper. It was my girlfriends uncle saying Hey I would do it but I have a son now. So I want to video tape this and you play Santa. I agreed and put on this costume that was 338.6 Kelvin or 150F.  So  I put on this suit and remember in Indiana  in the room I was told to change in there was this show on TV. It was this deal where a bunch of churches got together and tried to sell crap from local merchants for some religious charity. I thought there was an FCC to destroy these people.

So I put on this costume and walk downstairs. I have a huge bag of toys and all these little kids instantly settle down because they think I am judging them and will form an opinion of their toy allocation that I have as Santa alloted them this year. The power of a religious figure to control someone. Or for Disney to revive Tim Allen’s acting career. So they have a fireplace for me to sit on the edge of. So I have this hot thing on my back adding to the heat of wearing this suit and all I can think is “Water” or “Outside in the snow” So I have all these little girls and boys that we will call Dick and Jane. Since their names are not important. But they are wanting to hug me and tell me their deepest desires. I feel like I should be asking these parents for a credit card number.

Man that sounded perverted. It wasn’t meant to come off like that. But my total payment for the deal was a cold salad and what I was told the “internal satisfaction that I enriched Christmas for several little girls and boys” 

So I had to sit each kid on my lap and they told me what they wanted but all I could really focus on is stay cool. Don’t think about the heat. I was wearing a fake beard and hat and that was covering my face enough that all the sweat running down my face was absorbed by this beard. Now the thought had occurred to me. How do you wash a beard? Not being one with facial hair and what little facial hair I get I shave off. But this fake one probably rented 10 times a year do they wash it every time someone returns it?

So I give each kid a toy listen to what they want. Get on 12 peoples camcorders. Now being that was for an ex girlfriends uncle I have thought 10 years down the road when they watch their sons first Christmas and I am in that holiday suit and this kid is like who played the Santa who are they going to give credit to?

I sometimes ponder why I went out to Indiana to be with a girl for 3 years that I had met over the internet. It was an interesting experience to say the least. But it brought this tale of being a Santa to you. When I totally just wanted to poke fun at a scorpion in someones pants at a store.

Cheers! Happy Holidays for whatever holiday you celebrate.

Junniper had me spawn a new phrase. “Spread the Geek” which sounds like a good podcast title. Perhaps a nice song. Oh well.

A Long Time Ago on this Blog on a Tube of the Internet

I said I was in a magazine and I never posted the link. Well the story is that the lady that is the editor of this magazine was doing a bit on guys from Washington and I got asked to be in it and so did a buddy of mine. Well I didn’t want to pay the $500 to be in this thing but my friend Ollie really wanted to do it. So he worked for the lady and paid off the debt and he got me into this magazine. To read my personal ad and see some recent pictures I would suggest you drop the cash for it. There is no way I am going to put this out there if you really want it you can buy it. I wish I made a % of this sale. :laugh:

So it’s out there. Props go to Rachel Miller for asking me about a picture and then thinking about how I don’t have any but there are some in this magazine. This might come back to haunt me later in life so might as well admit to it now.

My face is blushing at the moment.

A Penny for your Thoughts

So I was pondering a title for this post and thought I would write the blog first and then title it later. So things I want to write about. So let me hit on a few things.

Last Thursday I was talking to my buddy Zac and he sits in a different part of the building and the people he sits next to lets call them ahh lets not worry about that. But Zac told me one of them describes me as a “doobie” which is a reference to pot. But I am sure everyone knew that. But I wasn’t sure on the spelling of that word. The reasoning behind that was “Tristan is very relaxing he can just speak and I feel relaxed and  calm” so that had me thinking and I am recalling my life doing a rewind on the old tapes up in the brain storage. This has been a trend throughout my life.

When I was in Elementary school teachers picked up on this and would always sit me next to the kids that would misbehave or cause a ruckus in class. Because when I was around them I would without knowing how calm them down. They would perform better and every time we would change seats I would never get to sit next to my friends. So I recall this one time in the 4th grade which was a bad year in general for me when my parents divorced. That is a different topic for another day perhaps. My friends were Chuck Mason and Ian Todd and Tyler B. Me and Chuck were close we would go spend the night at each others house and play SNES on weekends. Contra III – The Alien War. But I think I got to sit next to him twice in one year. There was this kid named Matt. A bit of a high strung type always loud and acting out didn’t get homework of any kind and Mrs. Todd sat me next to him. Not knowing how people get this feeling from me the next few weeks he was calm, quite and collected. I helped him with his homework and he went from a D to a B and everything in class functioned.

The KGB Mafia Man refers to this as some unharnessed power that I have.  I don’t really get how or why I have this ability to just relax people. But I do it unaware. Darin refers to me as Gravity people tend to just collect around me and can brighten a room. I did notice that a lot of people were trying to take advantage of this and got a little upset at the world and took a turn to negative outlook for a while. But then I started to ponder that I tend to have a realistic outlook on life. But this person I work with and just talk to in passing finds me relaxing and comforting I think that is a sign that the nice guy roots don’t die and that I can’t get rid of who I am in the core.

I can be a bit of an asshole at times and come off as an odd vibe. But I don’t bullshit anyone. I am horrible at sugar coating things to put a spin on them. Metaphors I can spout them off but I am not good at understanding when someone tells one to me. Facts are absolute and I like to know what’s going on.

So I wanted to share this thought I was having. People that know me personally could probably chime in a bit more then me speaking. I kinda feel like I am a Honda salesmen telling you this Honda is the best car you can buy. It’s like when it’s coming from a Honda salesmen you tend to think he is biased. I am sure I am very biased when it comes to topics relating to myself.

So I ask the world. How do you perceive me?

Voicemail LIne  1 (608) 554-0778 or you can use Skype to leave a voicemail TristanMac

If you feel so inclined voice your opinions on this and we shall dissect them on an upcoming podcast.

iTunes with Music and iLike the iPod

So the other night I saw there was a new episode of FrenchMaidTV Where they were talking about this service called iLike. Now I thought this was a very cool idea. It works on Mac OS X and Windows XP/2000 and it installs a plugin for iTunes where it scans your playlist for items you play and listen to and then populates a personal page about yourself and then shows what you are listening to. What you have listened to. What you listen to most. So it then takes that information and will link people that have some common interest in music to you.

So I signed up and it grabbed all the info. I found out my most listened to artist is the Simpsons. So I have been trying to cheat the system and raise the play count of a bit more respectable band of Blink 182. So I went searching in the common list and I found a girl. Well I feel better writing a woman that I have some common music interest with and saying Hello then a Guy. Most guys on social networking sites don’t want to talk to other guys. But I am sure a woman on any social site or blog will get a lot more e-mail and feedback then any male ever would.

So I have just been letting this thing go while I do anything with iTunes and I must say I like the whole idea and design. What is really cool is when you are playing a song it will recommend other songs that are free to download and DRM free. This feature has been amazing I have found all kinds of interesting music to listen to. The 1812 Overture brought up some wonderful classical pieces I didn’t have yet. Great stuff.

Anything to fill up the iPod that is free. If you want to friend me and we can see what music we have in common details are after the jump.

A Whale of a Tale

Not much content on this post but I saw this news article on Dvorak and I just got a crack out of it. I shared it with Travis and Mike and I consider this a WTF moment. There was that exploding Whale in Oregon. But I never thought I would hear about it happening again twice in my lifetime.

So anyways if you live near water and a whale washes up on shore. Wear a rain coat for a while otherwise when you get somewhere you are going to get really odd looks. It’s raining blood and organs. Or the weather man.

This could go on forever.

Myers Briggs Personality Type

Well I took the test at

And I turned out to be an ESTJ not knowing what this exactly meant I went to the wikipedia the source of unreliable but useful information. Here is a quote from the Wikipedia Page.

ESTJ’s are practical, realistic, and matter-of-fact, with a natural head for business or mechanics. Though they are not interested in subjects they see no use for, they can apply themselves when necessary. They like to organize and run activities. ESTJ’s make good administrators, especially if they remember to consider others’ feelings and points of view, which they often miss.

Now this totally seems to fit me well. Some further research shows I am naturally attracted to INFP so wondering what that type of person is like did some more research and got this.

INFPs focus deeply on their values, and they devote their lives to pursuing the ideal. They often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. They are creative, and they seek new ideas and possibilities. They quietly push for what is important to them, and they rarely give up. While they have a gentleness about them and a delightful sense of humor, they may be somewhat difficult to get to know and may be overlooked by others. They are at their best making their world more in line with their internal vision of perfection.

So this appears to be the opposite of who I am. Paula Abdul once said that opposites attract. But I think when seeking a partner you need someone with the same core values as you. I couldn’t picture a good conversation between a republican and a libertarian at the table or at your local coffee hut. So what does it say about myself in a relationship the ESTJ relationship/loving document I came across had this to say.

For ESTJs, love means stability and steadfastness. However, when they first fall in love, they are much more likely to be spontaneous and open to the moment. They typically enjoy active pursuits, such as going to parties and sporting events, and taking walks together. ESTJs give and expect security and loyalty in relationships. When commitments are broken, ESTJs become upset because they hold others to the same standards of steadfastness to which they hold themselves. Because they are logical, they expect logically that relationships will have ups and downs. They firmly believe that with a proper foundation, their relationships will survive expected down times. Because they expect this, they may ignore helping their partner or examining their relationship during those down times. In some cases, this inaction can be detrimental to their relationship, and in some cases, not. When scorned, they may not quickly acknowledge their feelings of hurt. They are, however, supersensitive to being reflected, but they may not readily share that hurt with others. They continue to go about their tasks acting as if nothing had happened when, in fact, much has changed.

So when I fall in love I fall out of the unemotional and logical mind and open for anything and perhaps that is why I am good with the INFP’s. I don’t think I will be handing this test over to a potential date prospect. But might save a great deal of time having them have a slight understanding of my personality type and I can understand who they are.

I do notice that I am not really good at catering to peoples emotions. So I tend to come off as a bit of a rude asshole to some. If that is the feeling you have gotten from me I do apologize. 2007 is coming about coming up and first thought you would think it would be a prime number year. But it’s not we won’t see a prime number for a year until 2011. But it’s early I haven’t had enough caffeine yet.

So take the test. What type of Personality are you? As I close this blog post out I thought I would leave everyone with a Witty Saying someone had as a signature.

“If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.”