hmmm Should I do it. I am sure google would reveal something. Or many somethings.
I have a great deal of female readers I will keep that on the down low.
So anyways I purchased this couch at a furniture store but they didn’t seem to have any in stock and had to order it again. So I was put on a back order and that was a good time. The first time I sat in this couch I looked at the price tag and was like I don’t care I need to have it.
It’s rated as Chocolate Leather. It has Dual recliners and laying down on it is sorta like the feeling of that relaxing sensation that you have after an orgasm. Laying on this couch is like that feeling as long as you are on the couch. So a few weeks passed after ordering this bundle of joy. I did the pay 1/2 now and pay the other 1/2 later. I could have paid the whole thing off but if for some reason the whole deal got stiffed over I would only need to fight for half instead of the whole deal.
So anyways nothing really happened on this issue for a while. See I wish I had a microphone and could play the Jeopardy Theme right here.
Then the cell phone rings. From a number I don’t recognize and I am like should I pick it up then my work phone rang so I let it go to voicemail. When I answer my personal phone my goal can be to fool you into thinking a voicemail has picked up. Then I pause to see if the other person starts talking. If they don’t I say Hello? Then they are always like “Oh I thought it was your voicemail I was totally going to leave you one. There was no beep” We have a good chuckle and get on with the witty banter of what are you doing this weekend. But that wasn’t the case this time.
So I get a phone call and I can’t pick it up that weekend but I said I can pick it up the weekend after that one. I was going to the Ocean Easter weekend. Which was pleasant. I got prime rib. Also went to Nick’s Birthday Party. Instead of hunting Easter Eggs we hunted small bottles of Beer and Wine and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.
Every Monday Night I get together with Nick and Justin. Nick is a Real Estate Agent here in Kitsap County. If you need the hookup and want to move over here. And let me know how to get a hold of your people and I can have my people call your people. Justin is Nick’s brother and he is an independent contractor. He has a truck and wanted to take advantage of that fact. So I offered lunch and Gas. So we planned out our Journey for the following weekend.
Ahh Monday Nights. We get together and watch Heroes normally. But there hasn’t been a new Heroes in a while. New ones next Monday. Last 5 episodes of the Season. So we get together and watch that show. But if it’s a repeat or no show it’s all about Red Dwarf. The great British Comedy. Which I have talked about many times before.
So anyways last Saturday rolls around. I get up at 9:30am and shower and didn’t shave because well hanging out with dudes so why bother. Got some clean clothes that I wouldn’t mind ruining. Went over to Nick’s House. He cooked us Cinnamon French Toast. It was marvelous. We sit around and talk and BS about pointless guy stuff. Guy bonding is always interesting. I ponder if ladies would view it when ladies are bonding. If we were looking from the outside in on them we would be like WTF? Or Why is this important? But anyways the male female communication barriers I will save for another day when I run into that issue.
So we get into the truck and I was like “Hey Guys. Are you ready for some hardcore iPod action?!” so we pop on Alonzo Bodden. Who is a great black comedian. His just a friend bit is rather comical. I have attached his bit at the bottom of the page for your listening pleasure.
So we are driving down the road and laughing and chillin out. Trying to figure out what we are going to do that night. We have been talking about going to laser tag for a while in Port Orchard and we finally decide we are going to do it. So that settles that nights plans.
So this is the part of the trip where we are just driving. Listening to Comedians be funnier they we could be at the time. Talking about life and so forth. Then my phone rings again. Some number I don’t recognize and it was a local area code so I figured oh probably someone I know that I haven’t added to my new phone. I pickup up the call and it was someone I had been ignoring trying to get tricky on me. Instant awkward luckily I could say I was busy with the guys and got off the phone quickly.
So we get to the furniture store and pay and test out some recliners. Oh maybe I should get one of those later. We drive around back and load up the couch into the back of Justin’s truck.
(This is what I cannot stand about Thursdays they are so insane on the busy factor I started this blog post at 7:36am. It is now 12pm and I am not even close to being done because I am just so busy)
So we tie it down wrap a tarp over it and it is all protected and I was like hey guys instead of pizza we should go check out hooters. Since Justin and Nick were Sans girlfriend and I am single at the moment they were down for the idea. So we go in and lunch was on me so we walk in and it wasn’t the fanciest of places and we get seated by some lovely young woman.
Now looking at the Hooters Uniform it’s a white tank top with short orange shorts and stalkings of some kind. Looking around the restaurant I was surprised to see women there enjoying or not enjoying the dining experience. Now one thing we observed is that if you are a table with a female seated around you the waitress will sit down at the table. But if it’s just males the waitress puts her arms on the table and leans over and gives everyone an equal view. There was an empty seat at our table she could have sat down. But just an observation. They would walk by and talk to the guys but the couples they wouldn’t walk as close to the table or talk to them nearly as much. We figured it was a respect issue.
After a great deal of wings and long island ice teas we paid the bill. A trip to hookers for 3 guys cost me $87. We were liberal with the Tip $20.
Nick and Justin were feeling slightly guilty at the end of the experience and they purchased Tank Tops for their girlfriends to justify the trip. We all found it comical but the girls seemed delighted from the overheard phone calls they were getting presents.
So the drive back to my condo is rather blah so we can >> remember that on VCR remotes? The Fast Forward >>.
Here is a video that pretty much summarizes what we were thinking out our first attempt to get the couch through the front door.
So anyways we all saw the first picture of us just trying to get it through the door. Well come to find out the couch is 39” tall and a standard door frame is 36” wide. So no matter what we tried to do we couldn’t get it through the front door. We crushed our feet and Nick in the process of the door attempt. The only other way was to get the couch up onto the balcony. I took some pictures with my phone and put them on my flickr page.
Or Here is the Photo Slideshow
Now you have various views of my stairs and the space to the balcony. This is an amazing feet of engineering that we came up with. Since my larger balcony has dual sliding doors it opens up a great deal further and would allow us to move the couch in a great deal easier. But the problem we had to deal with was this incredibly heavy couch and lifting it onto a balcony that is way above our heads as we climbed down the stairs.
So we planned this out a bit. We took the tow straps and tied two of them around the frame that we would be first attempting to lift onto the balcony. We had Justin on the balcony and tossed him the two straps. I was in the middle because I was the tallest and Nick was propping up the end. Justin was pulling the straps. While me and Nick had to lift this couch above our heads. Justin was at this point leaning over the balcony until we could get him some grip on the tow straps.
So I pretty much have most of the weight of the couch above my head. Nick is balancing the end and Justin is pulling it as I walk down the stairs my arms stretch out and I really start to feel that acid burn in the muscles until we get the couch onto the balcony railing.
Nick then Runs around and I move up the stairs to help push the couch and then Nick and Justin are up on the railing holding it and they start to walk it into the condo and we set it on the floor and we are all exhausted.