It seems like I have told this story at least 30 times now. So for the record this is the last time I will speak about the wedding day. Because frankly after a week of hearing “How was the wedding” I am done. So for the record and the last time. The Wedding.
So Saturday we woke up to a rainy day. Friday night was a bit of a late night in the Cloud room. To much Gin for this Tristan. We were supposed to be at the wedding hall by 10am. 11am suited us better to shower and get ourselves there. So we arrive and we get all this crap about being late. Which was made a bigger deal by everyone there then it really was.
So basically I get stuck walking around for an hour while the Bride and the females do there thing. So pretty much trying to help in any way I can. I delivered the Sushi trays that I picked up at Costco to the fridge at the hall. Then moved some chairs and tables and it would appear that everything was in order that needed to be. So 12:30 rolls around and all the groomsmen and the best man go back to the Hotel down the street to change clothes in the room that they rented out for some post wedding loving. It’s a billion degrees in this Hotel Room that is just a step above Motel 6. So we crank up the AC because there are 5 dudes and the ring carrying human. So we are all getting ready and we all shove our pants down and then the groom’s cell phone started to ring. I don’t really understand the appeal of ringtones. My ringtone is either Vibrate or iPhone Ringtone. But apparently he is a hustler, baby.
I didn’t hear the conversation but I know the end result so I am going to make up what happened.
Bride: “GET BACK TO THE WEDDING HALL NOW WE NEED TO HAVE ANOTHER REHEARSAL!”
Groom: “But I am just about to get in the shower and we have to be changed and ready for pictures in an hour.”
Bride: “I DON’T CARE! WE NEED TO HAVE THIS TIMED CORRECTLY!”
So we all have to put our pants and regular clothes back on. Drive over to the wedding hall. Walk down the aisle again and we repeat this twice. Leaving us 25 minutes instead of the 90 mins we had originally planned for.
So Preston has shower and we all get into the Tuxes. This wasn’t without error a rental tux isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing in the entire world. Itchy pants and the shoes are horrid. I was lucky to get a pair of the lovely size 17 wides. Normally I wear a 15 or a 16 wide but the 17 had a looser feel and it was nice. But there was no padding. I can’t imagine what heels feel like to a woman. But they just look painful. I like my Nike Running shoes. I do a lot of walking and they fit the bill for that wonderfully.
The biggest issue with the tux is when I go to put the cufflings one of them just breaks it snaps clear in half. Some super glue could have fixed this but none was to be found. So we are all dressed in our tuxes and we all get to dance to. “I’m a hustler baby”
Bride:” WHERE ARE YOU THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS GOING TO BE HERE!”
So we all get in vehicles so we don’t have to run in the rain. When we arrive come to find out that the photographer is some cousin of someone and is running late. So we are all freaked out for no reason other then the Bride is stressed. So the rest of the day I just quit caring and figured you know what it’s time for a beer. So I go grab the lovely New Belguim ale known as Fat Tire.
So then photos time calls up and says we need to get our picture taken. So we have some amateur taking our picture. Now I am not sure the quality of said pictures because I have not had a chance to look at them. But apparently some people have and said I look decent. So that is good the only person not at the wedding that got to see me in the Tux was Raleigh. Though I was sans voice that evening and felt like a total dumbass we shall press on.
So photos are taken and then the rest of the day was pretty much walking around greeting people and explaining to the parents of people that I haven’t seen in a while what I do for a living now. That is always fun.
So the wedding we all line up in the back and the music starts playing. Pirates of the Caribbean mind you and we all take our turns walking down the aisle. I get stuck with the Bride’s mom because a few of the bridesmaid’s ditched on the bride. I always find this comical to be walking down the aisle being 6’4” and the person I was walking with probably was just a shade over 5’2”. But hey it was a good time.
So bride makes her entrance. Everyone looks at her and life is grand. Can’t hear the bride or groom on the microphone or the dude marrying them. He forgets to tell everyone to sit down so everyone is standing for way to long and life is ha ha memorable wedding. We walk all out and life is grand so we get to go take more pictures with the bride.
I would like to point out I haven’t eaten all day and I am starving. Burger King is right up the road and that was about it for the area and I would have settled for that at this point. So we take some more photos and keep life crazy. I go downstairs and get a plate of food and come up and find out we need to take more pictures. I don’t care this meatloaf is damn good. I wish I could cook for more then one person. Cooking meatloaf for one person seems over kill.
So being in this wedding hall in the Tuxedo is crazy warm. So we go through all the motions of photos and then we all go sit on stage and eat food and then they cut the cake and then the dancing begins. First dance. Hooray this I can see is where a date would come in handy. But instead I get dragged onto the floor by various bridesmaids and mom’s of people. I haven’t had my ass grabbed that much well ever. So dancing and getting my ass grabbed by old ladies good times.
So after a few more hours of this I want to get headed home so me and Darin grab our stuff and head back to the Hotel. We throw on our swim trunks and go relax in the hot tub.
Tonights Hot Tub guests. Some women that wanted to get away from her kids so she came to talk to us. Then some older women in a Bikini. She was working it pretty good. She didn’t say much. So after that we went back up to our room and changed back into the tuxedo and such and Raleigh came over. She brought a 6 pack and me and Darin had Gin and Juice’s. I felt bad because I had no voice and was coughing constantly. So we decide to go find somewhere to remedy the coughing. We walk through Seattle at night.
So we find this Quik-E-Mart store and I find Robitussin and a Vitamin Water. I get in line behind a women that has a broken arm and she is buying a great deal of Coors. Her bill is $11.63 and she is freaking out because it is so much and then starts yelling.
“I GOTTA GET MY SAFE! LAST TIME I WENT INTO MY SAFE MY ARM GOT BROKEN”
I must say Seattle people are wack a loons so she takes off her shoe and pulls out some money. I pay for my $10 medicine and $2 fruit juice and get out of there. We were walking back to the condo and there was a plastic bag with some nuts in it hanging from a tree. The comedy from a Nut Sack was hilarious. Probably only to me and Darin at the time. Gotta love Gin.
When walking back we saw this guy that had Darin and Raleigh laughing from a Berries and Cream bit from a Starburst commercial. I hadn’t seen this commercial since I really don’t watch TV other then HBO and Bullshit on Showtime.
I must say I thought this was an outlook on society. But I must say it has become a bit of a hit around here people laughing. I guess I wasn’t the only one to see this commercial. Time for me to do a little lad dance of my own.
So we just kinda chilled in the Cloud Room. One hilarious bit was Darin brought up Tub Girl which is a picture that you really don’t want to see. I wouldn’t suggest going to google image search and typing in Tub Girl. But if you must well I am not sure they make a burned into mind brain image cleaner. Raleigh asked what it was and I was a little off my wits and started to explain it as some couple walked in. They heard me and rapidly left. Raleigh was laughing and so was Darin. Good times boy is my face red.
We went back to our room played some Wii for a Bit and I walked Raleigh back to her car. I must say I really enjoy a good hug.
This is all a very short summary since I am trying to push this blog out before I leave for the day to head to boys night tonight. So that in short was the wedding day. I will find pictures and put them on flickr. Probably not the best of blogs but it was a wedding. I was in the wedding. Being a groomsmen is rather simple job. Next time I will opt for my own cufflings and shoes.
Now I need to get back to everything talk to you soon. Send me an e-mail or a text message. I got unlimited to use. Currently for the month I am at 1900+ so lets get that up to 2500 =) keep updating your twitters people. =)
I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream. Well I should try them before I go endorsing the product.
Mobile: Psh. Like I need more stalkers. =p