A Written Blog

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I was thinking that I type ever single blog. I figured I might as well grab a yellow pad and write something.

Tristan Pipo's First Written Blog

Here is the link to the PDF for those that prefer that kinda thing. Everyone loves a good PDF down by the old watering hole. I guess I should write an update on my life as well. We could talk about getting pulled over on Saturday Night for having a License Plate light out and me and Raleigh were in our Penguin Halloween Costumes. But that is coming soon. Life has just gotten on the busy side of things.

News Article That Had Me Feeling Evil

September 30th 2007 – Women hit by Train After Wheelchair gets Stuck

Woman in Wheelchair Gets Hit by Train

So this one had me laughing on the inside. Some woman in her wheelchair trying to cross the train tracks gets stuck and gets hit by train. Now this had me wondering a few things. How long was she stuck for that nobody passed by and got her out of the way? Well it sounds like she was crossing with not nearly enough time to cross. So I put one mark on the stupid lady column. The second is that most people in wheelchairs would be traveling perpendicular with the railroad tracks. Also while looking at the picture it’s one of those motorized wheel chairs with rather large wheels. I have been to those tracks many times and I am not sure how the wheels would get stuck where normal people go. So this tells me she was fucking around. Fucking around is an automatic mark in the stupid lady column.

So then a semi truck driver and the train were sounding the horn to get the fuck out of the way. The train tries to stop slams into the old woman and pushes her for several yards. Then she gets flung from the chair. Now I am no physics expert but usually if you are at a standstill and a train plows into you. Wouldn’t you go flying instead of getting pushed? But the very last line has been in a bit of a tizzy.

“The woman was taken to Harborview Medical Center and was expected to survive. “

She was expected to survive? So does that mean she has passed on? Did the stupid wheelchair lady die? Or is she sitting at home with the cat I made up named Muffin drinking crumpets and saying “Jolly Day isn’t it my precious muffin?” Perhaps not but still I was reading this in a WTF. So this had me thinking if she is dead or if she is alive and this is the nation of lawsuits who gets to pay for this womans idiocy.

We have a few options.

1. The City of Seattle or Probably the Port of Seattle  for not having properly labeled the tracks being dangerous for stupid bitches in wheelchairs. I would love to see a sign that would offend as many tight assed people as possible. “A stupid bitch in a wheelchair tried to drive across the tracks. Her wheels got stuck somehow. Be Careful especially if you are a Christian getting hit by trains will prove Darwin to be true. Survival  of the fittest you stupid religious nut jobs”

2. The Wheelchair Company – I could see this. You didn’t have a warning system against wheels getting stuck in the tracks. I haven’t seen this happening frequently. But if fucking morons can get millions for dumping hot coffee on their crotches and rendering their penises or vagina’s useless for a few days I can see a legal issue about wheelchairs. On a side note if you are fucking stupid enough to sue McDonalds for your idiocy of dumping hot coffee on yourself. I suggest you don’t consider breeding to begin with.

3. The Train Company – I can totally see this one. The train didn’t try stopping soon enough. Personally I think the train should have sped up nailed her really hard seen how far we could have thrown her. Get some good distance. I do this kinda thing in Halo 3 with the warthog hit someone see how far they go flying. It’s rather comical. Since video games are real life why not do this? Give those idiot politicians even more fuel for there cause that video games are bad. Heaven forbid we blame the moron parents who don’t consider if their moron kids should play such games.

4. Semi Truck Driver – He was there honking his horn but he could have gotten out and shoved the lady somewhere. But meh I am not one to jump out of a semi truck and push someone out of the way of a train. If I was the truck driver I would have wished to have had a youtube video of the stunt.

Oh well it will make for a good Darwin Award. I found this news article to be somewhat decent because it wasn’t about how Britney Spears is an unfit mother. I don’t understand why that is even news. I should start a news program called “No Shit!” I could turn between cameras.

“Today if why the fuck do we care. Britney Spears is an unfit mother. No Fucking Shit! I am surprised her brain is smart enough to tell her to inhale oxygen” Everyone would probably hate it and no advertisers would want any part of it. But I feel like overall the idea is good.

It’s Friday

Hot Chick in the Shower for No Reason

It’s always nice to start off a blog post with something that looks sexy. Gets peoples attention so that they might want to read more. It’s been a long week. I am excited for work to be over. The cool weather is here and sanity is returning. Though somehow this summer seemed a great deal warmer then last summer. Those global warming people playing with my head again. Part of me doesn’t really give a crap since the earth is dead in another 5 billion years. I figure it will have a good run by then I won’t be alive and this blog post will probably never exist at that point and nothing will be remembered. Well unless we evolve into some sort of awesome creature that can travel in space. But I am sure we will probably kill ourselves off in a religious debate since that’s what seems to be the cause of everything these days. Hey there are some people that don’t think like we do. Let’s go shoot the fuck out of them. Keep our own people in fear and keep them stupid so they don’t question what we do. I love America.

Since it is Friday and Funny Stuff is a good way to end the work day. Here is a Video that had me chuckling and passing it around.

How to Save Time Surfing the Web

I find myself many mornings hanging out with my girlfriend in bed and I watch how she surfs the web and how I surf the web. So I thought I would offer a few friendly tips on how to save some time while surfing the web. If you try to apply this to a site like MySpace I hope you soon discover you are a moron and may we press on.

So I know a great deal of you go from website to website that you visit on a regular basis just to see what is new in the world. Sometimes website have update and other times they haven’t. Now the question is how much time do you spend visiting websites that don’t update constantly?

Well that’s where the hero of the internet known as RSS comes in. RSS stands for Really Simply Syndication. Well basically RSS is a XML page. Ugh okay in a simple fashion RSS is basically a special type of page. You can find my RSS page at /feed/ So when you visit this page you get different results depending on what web browser you use. If you use Internet Explorer you have my pity and well I don’t offer much help in that regard. But lets press on. Basically on that page you get a simple listing of every blog post I make. If you have a feed reader such as Google Reader or Bloglines you can add my RSS Feed to your Feed Reader and you can see if I have updated my page or not.

Here is how I have my bloglines page setup. Click it to make it transition in with a cool effect. I would like to thank the folks at lightbox for providing me with their wonderfully free javascript to make that possible.

Reading BoingBoing in Bloglines RSS Reader

So lets look at this I am subscribed to 50 sites that have RSS feeds. I see that out of my Mac Related sites only one site has updated since I last checked. MacRumors and they have added one news bit. So with that information I can click on that link and read a clip of the article and decide if I want to read the rest of it by clicking on it further. So instead of visiting 4 sites and only finding one update. I don’t have to visit any sites to see what has updated. Nobody has updated their blogs lately but I did save 1 article to go back and read later.

Does that make any sense so far in saving time? As you can see I have multiple tabs open as well because I am a rather large multitasker. I run two separate browser windows usually one for work the other for everything else. I like only having two web browser windows open with multiple tabs in each so I am not sorting through a billion windows. Windows doesn’t have expose like Mac does and even on my Mac I use Firefox and tabs.

“But Tristan how do I tell if a website has an RSS Feed?”

Well if they are somewhat of an intelligent company or person they will have one. You can tell if you find the RSS Logo somewhere in your web browser. With Firefox it appears in the address bar. If you are using Internet Explorer I would suggest getting Firefox or killing yourself. Both options will save time in the end. But just pick one you don’t need to do both. The RSS logo looks like

Tristan Pipo RSS Logo

If you have Firefox configured you can click that logo and it will auto subscribe you in the feed reader of your choice. You need to set that up via preferences. I prefer Bloglines over Google Reader mainly because of an interface issue. Plus the mobile version of Bloglines is far better then the mobile google reader at this point. Sorry Google I still love you for gMail and everything else that you do.

So I suggest getting into RSS and saving time on the web. Only read what you need. That is a good slogan. I said it first. Thanks for reading. Save time.

Here is a rather simple video that explains RSS.

If you would like to subscribe to awesomeness that is my blog. I got Google Reader or Bloglines for your subscribing pleasure.

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Brain Vomit in the Form of a Blog

So blog updates have been few and far between. Have I died? Have I lost the urge? Nah life has just came around and blogging isn’t priority #1 so much anymore. I enjoy it and always working on some scheme to get things updated and easy to use. So I guess what have I been doing lately.

Well Halo 3 came out on September 25th and I find myself playing a great deal of that during the week. If you want to hop on and say WTF?! You Suck. Well come find me on XBOX live.

So I guess I haven’t done a weekend update in a while so lets kick one off for no particular reason.

Friday – So Friday was a rather nice Seattle day. A few weekends ago I had given Raleigh a key to my place and she wanted to head over there when I was at work. That evening we were supposed to go have dinner with my Great Aunt and Uncle who were in town from Chicago so I got off work an hour early. But the ferry was delayed nearly an hour and that wasn’t exactly a smart plan since I only saved approx 10 mins going home. I left a card of sweet nothings on my coffee table with my car keys and Raleigh met me at the ferry.  Then we went back to my place to pick up a new shirt and head out to dinner. Nothing real exciting to report on that front.

Saturday – Slept in a while and then went and had Break-unch. Then we went and did some shopping and picked up some things and then we hit up a corn maze. The crew that arrived were Nick, Audrey, Gerene, Justin, Abbey, Jon, Sean, Sean’s Friend, Raleigh and the coolest guy ever( Tristan). It took us about an hour to get through the Maze. Then we went to dinner at Red Robin. It seems like most restaurants in this area blow. But I had a Banzai Burger and life was good.  We had to ditch out of dinner fairly early to go catch a movie at the old movie theater on Bainbridge called the Lynnwood Theater. They play Indie Films and Documentaries. We caught the 9:30 showing of In the Shadow of the Moon. I am a total Nasa and Apollo fan and dig this kinda thing.

So the movie overall was great I was slightly tired and had a few nod offs that resulted in getting elbowed in the stomach from Raleigh. I ponder if it was a “You took me to this film you are going to stay awake for it” But I would recommend it if you are interested in this kinda thing. I would recommend a rental. Since I doubt it’s playing in many theaters in your vicinity.

After that we just went home and passed out.

Sunday –  Well Sunday was an interesting day. Walked around downtown Winslow for a bit found some breakfast and came home. Hung up some pictures and cleaned a bit. Raleigh cooked an early dinner that was awesome. For some reason sitting in my computer chair watching her cook is just a blast. I wish I could have helped more but spending time with Raleigh is one of those things I enjoy more then anything. It is always hard to drop her off at the ferry even though I know I will be seeing her again soon. After I dropped her off I went to my parents house for dinner #2 and watched Field of Dreams. Came home played Halo 3 a bit and then passed out.

Monday begins and here I am saying thanks for reading. Heroes tonight. Boys Night. Hugs to everyone and I need some coffee to wake up. It’s 12:30 and I am still beat for some reason.

Question Time – Answer Time Coming Later

It’s been an interesting few weeks but most of the time stuff has been happening that I really don’t have much desire to share with the world. So I thought I would open up an idea for my next blog post a question and answer section. So if you have a question about anything about really anything I will take a stab at answering it.

You can ask your questions via comments on this blog post. You could also send me an e-mail via the Contact Form on the right hand side of the page there. You can shoot me an e-mail tristan@tristanpipo.com Or if you are feeling extra awesome you can call the voicemail line 206-973-7886 and I will do this in an audio fashion if I get enough comments and e-mail about this topic.

Feel free to ask away.

Update #1: Well after almost 24hrs I have only received one question.  “What is the best way to grow potatoes near a volcano” I had to bust out my head scratching hand for that one. But continue sending in questions. Or at least start. 😉