Month: October 2007

So this one had me laughing on the inside. Some woman in her wheelchair trying to cross the train tracks gets stuck and gets hit by train. Now this had me wondering a few things. How long was she stuck for that nobody passed by and got her out of the way? Well it sounds like she was crossing with not nearly enough time to cross. So I put one mark on the stupid lady column. The second is that most people in wheelchairs would be traveling perpendicular with the railroad tracks. Also while looking at the picture it’s one of those motorized wheel chairs with rather large wheels. I have been to those tracks many times and I am not sure how the wheels would get stuck where normal people go. So this tells me she was fucking around. Fucking around is an automatic mark in the stupid lady column.

So then a semi truck driver and the train were sounding the horn to get the fuck out of the way. The train tries to stop slams into the old woman and pushes her for several yards. Then she gets flung from the chair. Now I am no physics expert but usually if you are at a standstill and a train plows into you. Wouldn’t you go flying instead of getting pushed? But the very last line has been in a bit of a tizzy.

“The woman was taken to Harborview Medical Center and was expected to survive. “

She was expected to survive? So does that mean she has passed on? Did the stupid wheelchair lady die? Or is she sitting at home with the cat I made up named Muffin drinking crumpets and saying “Jolly Day isn’t it my precious muffin?” Perhaps not but still I was reading this in a WTF. So this had me thinking if she is dead or if she is alive and this is the nation of lawsuits who gets to pay for this womans idiocy.

We have a few options.

1. The City of Seattle or Probably the Port of Seattle  for not having properly labeled the tracks being dangerous for stupid bitches in wheelchairs. I would love to see a sign that would offend as many tight assed people as possible. “A stupid bitch in a wheelchair tried to drive across the tracks. Her wheels got stuck somehow. Be Careful especially if you are a Christian getting hit by trains will prove Darwin to be true. Survival  of the fittest you stupid religious nut jobs”

2. The Wheelchair Company – I could see this. You didn’t have a warning system against wheels getting stuck in the tracks. I haven’t seen this happening frequently. But if fucking morons can get millions for dumping hot coffee on their crotches and rendering their penises or vagina’s useless for a few days I can see a legal issue about wheelchairs. On a side note if you are fucking stupid enough to sue McDonalds for your idiocy of dumping hot coffee on yourself. I suggest you don’t consider breeding to begin with.

3. The Train Company – I can totally see this one. The train didn’t try stopping soon enough. Personally I think the train should have sped up nailed her really hard seen how far we could have thrown her. Get some good distance. I do this kinda thing in Halo 3 with the warthog hit someone see how far they go flying. It’s rather comical. Since video games are real life why not do this? Give those idiot politicians even more fuel for there cause that video games are bad. Heaven forbid we blame the moron parents who don’t consider if their moron kids should play such games.

4. Semi Truck Driver – He was there honking his horn but he could have gotten out and shoved the lady somewhere. But meh I am not one to jump out of a semi truck and push someone out of the way of a train. If I was the truck driver I would have wished to have had a youtube video of the stunt.

Oh well it will make for a good Darwin Award. I found this news article to be somewhat decent because it wasn’t about how Britney Spears is an unfit mother. I don’t understand why that is even news. I should start a news program called “No Shit!” I could turn between cameras.

“Today if why the fuck do we care. Britney Spears is an unfit mother. No Fucking Shit! I am surprised her brain is smart enough to tell her to inhale oxygen” Everyone would probably hate it and no advertisers would want any part of it. But I feel like overall the idea is good.

It’s always nice to start off a blog post with something that looks sexy. Gets peoples attention so that they might want to read more. It’s been a long week. I am excited for work to be over. The cool weather is here and sanity is returning. Though somehow this summer seemed a great deal warmer then last summer. Those global warming people playing with my head again. Part of me doesn’t really give a crap since the earth is dead in another 5 billion years. I figure it will have a good run by then I won’t be alive and this blog post will probably never exist at that point and nothing will be remembered. Well unless we evolve into some sort of awesome creature that can travel in space. But I am sure we will probably kill ourselves off in a religious debate since that’s what seems to be the cause of everything these days. Hey there are some people that don’t think like we do. Let’s go shoot the fuck out of them. Keep our own people in fear and keep them stupid so they don’t question what we do. I love America.

Since it is Friday and Funny Stuff is a good way to end the work day. Here is a Video that had me chuckling and passing it around.