Month: May 2008

Post #978 – Say What?

Hey TristanPipo.com readers! I have been rather slack on updating the blog and because of this readership and hits have gone down. Which is understandable so I am going to work on being a better poster. Pretty much every personal blog that I have ever seen does this every now and then. I used to have aspirations to be a professional blogger. But I didn’t really have the market. Most professional bloggers seem to be well connected in the industry or be females. Being female and having boobs seems to be the number one factor in getting readers. You will instantly attract a great deal of men leaving stupid comments in the hopes that they might be the lucky one that will get to see you naked. But odds are they will meet some other dude who knows very little about their digital life and therefor will not brag about how they got to nail such a female blogger. But as with all my blogs we have found ourself on another tangent. Odd but you would think I am somewhat bitter when I could really care less.

I am writing this at 12:43am Sunday May 25th 2008. When it just so happens that I turned 25 on May 20th. It sometimes has been brought to my attention that 1/3 of my life is now over. Which can be a bit daunting to some. I have never been a real fan of birthdays. For some reason I find myself setting lower and lower expectations every year and find myself getting shafted by things not even making those expectations. Lets see last year I had a dinner at the casino buffet and got some coin and a Wok Accessory Kit. A few days later for another dinner I got ditched at a restaurant by my now current girlfriend. But at least one of those things worked out in the end.

I have been told by some that I have a witty style for writing and that most things I say take a turn on the blunt side and come around for an interesting bit of comedy. But for some reason lately I have been feeling a little down about myself. I would really like to get going back to the gym again. But now with my friends being scattered all around the area I find myself facing the wall of working out solo. Which has never really been my ideal situation. I would prefer to push myself harder and generally require a spotter and like someone that has the same workout ethic that I do. I miss going 5 days a week.

So I am sitting here at my computer desk and I look over at my other monitor stand and see a $1 bill in a wooden custom built frame. That was the first dollar I had ever made working on computers. I fixed a guys computer that was running mega slow. Deleted a whole bunch of software. Ran a virus scan and fixed all his shortcuts since they were all copies of copies. I made $51 dollars for that and that $1 is still in a frame to remind me that it all started from $1.

But it’s rather late and the comedy is just not flowing this evening. I don’t have anything witty to say at the moment. I miss updating the world on myself. You come here to read about me and what’s new. Do you have anything you would like to know? What aspect of my site keeps you coming back hoping for an update? I would really like to know.

Much Happiness and Love to All the Readers. I will be talking to you all soon.
-Tristan Pipo

I Can Haz a Bird?

Sometimes I wish I had 1000 monkeys who were on keyboards just typing away epic stories. I could combine them all and put them on a blog. Sometimes I feel like that rogue monkey who found out the password and posts when I find some free time. But free time is something I have been lacking a great deal of. Sometimes blog worthy stories are also lacking. I find time to update twitter on occasion since it’s as easy as popping off an SMS from my phone. Or using Google Talk but still I have been busy with other things.

So I figured I would take the time to tell a story about an experience I had last night. It involved Me, Nick, My Car, A Bird and a Cat. It begins now.

So yesterday happened to be Monday. I am not usually a fan of Monday but what can you do on such a day. Your weekend is over. You are not allowed to sleep in any more. You are forced to wake up at 6:30am. I usually take the time and hit the snooze button for an extra 7 minutes of sleep since I have 7 minutes of leisure time in the morning. I would prefer to use it while sleeping.

But I was not fully rested for my day. So that is why we have this thing called Boys night. Now we haven’t really had time for Boys night lately. Which seems to bother the woman because I am sure she would like me to disappear more often then she lets on. So we actually had the time and resources to have a Boys Night.

As many of you know I really cannot stand to drive. I like my car and it’s fun to drive but it has a few issues that drive me up the wall and just all around prevent me from driving. My turn signals are very flaky all of a sudden. They work when they want to. I have replaced all the bulbs on my car. Replaced all the fuses that have to deal with lights. They work sometimes and other times they don’t. I have yet to figure it out. So I generally try to avoid turning or changing lanes out of the fear of annoying someone. Plus the general stress I have had to deal with caused by all the long driving I had to do when I was in school. 85 miles each way for 3 years was not really a happy time in my life. During rush hour. I just have very little patience while driving and would prefer not to do so when available.

So my car spends a great deal of time just parked in a spot. I carpool with the Raleigh to her work in the morning and then I hop a bus. Coming back I either take the bus and walk 1/2 a mile or sometimes get a ride. Or I somehow manage to catch an earlier bus and get to my girlfriends work when she is getting off and we shuttle off together.

But lets get out of that rathole. Raleigh was the last one to drive my car and she backed it into the parking spot. I pretty much have the worst parking spot in this lot. It has this annoying Cherry Blossom tree that likes to shed all this crap all over my car. I have a black car and the other day it was totally white from all these Cherry Blossoms. So when those all dried up and blew away the tree shed all this brown crap all over my car. Today the tree decided to get further revenge upon me but I was unaware of this event.

So I pull out of the parking area and begin the epic drive down to Renton, WA. Hey turn signals were working so I took the easier route instead of the road less traveled. Get down to Renton without a hitch or any traffic. When I grabbing my bags out of my car I happen to look at the trunk of my car. I see what appears to be a dead creature. Upon first examination it looked like a hairless mouse. But then I saw it had a beak so that theory evolved quickly to bird. But odd part was it was rather small and had no feathers. I pointed this out to my buddy Nick and he was like that is gross. I had to agree with that statement.

So I wanted it off my car and needed to devise a way not to touch it. So to complete this step I opened up the trunk and found some armor all wipes and a towel. So I put an armor all wipe into the towel and picked up the bird. Carried it over across the street and just dropped the dead bird in the grass. Turn around and look at Nick. “It’s taken care of mate”  “Good. That was fucking disgusting” “Totally” so I turn around to make sure it cannot be seen. All of a sudden a cat comes out and must have seen what I had done and wanted to check out what I felt unworthy to keep around.

The cat looks up at me reminding me of those photos if I had thought about it I would have taken a picture and put “BIRD I CAN HAZ?” as the caption. The cat just went to town on the dead bird.

Hope everyone is well. I am sorry I haven’t been a more potent blogger just been busy with life and things like blogs get put on the back burner for things like Grand Theft Auto IV. Find me on XBOX live sometime if you desire. I am TristanP.

Leave a comment let me know what’s up or pop off an e-mail. Cheers!