So a few weeks ago I went to the dentist. I hadn’t been to the dentist since I was 11 or 12 or so. The last time I recall was when my mom was working at a Nursing home and my sister and I were getting babysat at some construction site for one of our tenants named Stewart. A Scottish fellow that was incredibly odd but if you really care to know how odd shoot me an e-mail. I remember all day I was brushing my teeth and using mouthwash. Must have been at least 20 times that day. So I go to the dentist without any hitches then and because of parents and lack of insurance or drive I hadn’t been to the dentist since.
This appalled Raleigh and she did a check on my insurance and was like “You are going to the dentist” Had I refused the circle of someone being happy would be broken and well bad day for everyone. I really am not a fan of the dentist ever since they started using needles and I hate needles because some nurse screwed up giving me an injection when I had mono. So the general idea of needles has made me rather unhappy and I tend to freak out. Bees scare me because they are basically needle marines that inject you with micro poison. They are quick to anger as well. So pretty much anything with a needle is a “No” unless you give me something to calm my nerves.
So the first time going to the dentist in many years my thought was that all my teeth are going to be broken and sucked out and I would need to get dentures. Raleigh had me basically thinking my mouth was a cesspool of vermin and decay and death. But after all this time it turned out I only had one cavity and needed a stronger cleaning then normal but not a program of deep cleanings. So which basically raised my ego about a billion points because I had healthier teeth then the lady Raleigh. They had to use this thing called a gouger and soul extractor or a hook thing and a water pick as Raleigh would say because she says I exaggerate things to much.
During this cleaning I was holding on for my life. Because I feel like they are ripping my face off with these hooks and picks and tools of death. What I was told was an hour and a half seemed like just 20 minutes of pure hell. So for the filling they gave me an Rx and told me to come back in two weeks for the drill. They gave me some Rx for something which is purely amazing. It made me not remember a whole day. I totally didn’t have to recall an experience going to Ross.
I am sure everyone knows what Ross is. But if you don’t let me enlighten you. It’s a discount retail store for discounted retail stuff. So something goes to Macy’s lets say. It doesn’t sell there or there is something wrong with it. They send it to their outlet store and if doesn’t sell there they send it to one of these Ross type stores to sell. So they have lots of cheap crap they couldn’t sell anywhere else. They are always horribly lighted and trashed and no room to do anything with crappy music and they just smell dirty. Raleigh loves this shopping establishment. I would rather pay the extra few dollars. To not deal with any of these issues. But I digress. I was told we went there on Friday and I don’t recall it at all. But we do have a new can opener. Which I use mostly. I have yet to see her use one. I know when she reads this it will be “Shutup Tristan. I use the can opener. I use it all the time. I am the can opening goddess of the greenwood” Which I will probably laugh at and get “Baby, don’t laugh” see right now as she is reading this she is pondering what she is going to say to me when she looks to her right and sees me sitting there. If I had to guess what I am doing right now as she is reading this I would say probably working out a math problem in the air.
But anyways back to the gloating of teeth cleaning. So I took 2 pills Friday morning to make my filling experience a bit more pleasant for everyone involved. Which was probably the best idea anyone had. Because I had never been so relaxed. They put all this crap and a rubber sheet over my face and it was like whatever. I don’t care what you do just keep me pain free. I bought an audiobook to keep my mind busy but turned out I didn’t need it I don’t recall what I listened to there didn’t appear to be a thing that could get me down on Friday. They took care of my teeth and now have a perfectly clean mouth other then the obscenity that pops out for a random reason. So really this entire post was a reason to gloat.
After my teeth had been cleaned Raleigh actually did something I had never seen her do before. It happened on Sunday. We were at a Red Robin and she had an Iced Tea and I got some Strawberry Lemonade. I had a drink of my lemonade a few times and she decided she didn’t like her tea. She actually took a sip of the lemonade. I was beyond perplexed she will never try a drink if I touched it. But she did so I guess in that respect having my teeth cleaned was worth it.
In case you didn’t get the circle reference here is a little flowchart. To help you understand since the flow can go either way it can have an affect on either party involved.
Tristan is Out.